Thursday, April 16, 2015

Masterless and Rage: "Victory"

Here I am, constantly bickering with the idea that victory... is black and white. Where we are now isn't grey, it's simply just black and white. There is no simple way to accentuate the idea that what we are now are skeletons, losers, and deprived of what we were supposed to be. We lost. And here they stand with their smiles, their glory and their incompetence to the whole notion that there is no victory here. There is only consolation prizes. We are being laughed at and I am the only one truly hearing the laughter while everyone else is content that "I" am still here. 

Choices we make sometimes sketches the idea of solace. The idea of it is sometimes enough for some people.

It should never be enough. It should never content anyone about where we are now compared to what was. We are just a joke. We are a laughingstock and a testament of failure. 

Some people can't really see it the way you do, you know.

Why is that? They say they get it, but they don't. I keep being told that words of encouragement .... the whole idea of 'hey you're great, you're fantastic' is a FUCKING victory when we are in shambles, expendable, and just damn near extinct. 

Some people are naive or some people don't know true tragedy like you do, thus they don't know what true victory is.

So they sit here and gallivant, smile, and feed the idea of ridiculous victories because they don't know the worse?


That is stupid. 

Maybe. But at the same time, what else are we going to say? What else can we really do? They can't and they will never see things like you do because in the end, they aren't you. In the end, it's not their story... it's yours.

If it's my story, why is it that I can't seem to guide the chapters to where it should be?

Because maybe the book we are in was a place we weren't supposed to be in it.

Are you regretting?

I regret a lot of things and one of them are the times we lose just thinking about a where we could be.

I regret a lot of things too.... one of them is not being able to just shut myself clean from a world devoid of victory as our namesake implies. I regret not being able to walk away when I had the chance. I regret at times the person I have become. 

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