Thursday, December 13, 2018

What If?

What if I told you I still remember?

Everything. And almost every small detail.

What if I told you that I still think about it? 

Every moment that I can. I still smile, laugh, and feel sorrow for the time we stole.

What if I told you that despite everything, nothing will ever fill that part of me?

That part of me that you selfishly moved in to? That part of me that despite how hard, I can't ever seem to find a closure for?

What if I told you that despite me letting me feel these things that it doesn't matter? 

As I told you, you'll move on. Just like everyone, they all leave without a closure, without looking back. Without remembering.

So why do I ask those two words when in the end, it's just a bout between reflections and ghosts?

It's because the truth remains that no mattter what, in the end, it was always me. The one that held on. The one that fought albeit a bit too late. The one that still cherishes and remembers.

Sadly, you became just one of them. Just another brick in the wall. Or perhaps, somebody that I used to know.

Or was it the other way round? 

Monday, May 14, 2018

Masterless and Rage

What? Why are you knocking? 

I had a dream. Something I haven't had in a long while. 

You've had this dream for a long while now. Why come to me now with this?

She seemed stuck. Like a message that I needed to go back and ... do something. Something that may realign certain things. I have tried to ignore it, but it seems to just be there.

You must be out of your mind.

When was the last time we had a message like this? When was the last time I Dreamed of something so clear? It was asking. Pleading. It brought back feelings that haven't been there in such a time. 

Dreams do that. And maybe this dream has that significant meaning like before, but may I remind you that consequences of chasing dreams. Of reaching out and seeking. 

Have my dreams ever been wrong? In context, from how we deciphered them, had they ever been entirely out of the question or the path it was trying to lead us? 

Your dreams always told you of a path, but it never told you about the others and how they would react or how they wouldn't. It's not like acting on those dreams paid off. 

But What if? 

You know what you were there? You know what you meant in that fiction we lived? You were a writing board; a blank piece of white board for everyone to write their oaths, their sentiments, and something to help them define how it sounded when they wanted to recite promises and acts of friendship. You were a definition. A building block. You were the REASON for it all. But the moment that they found out that they couldn't leave their doors unlocked, the moment they found out that life and friendship meant GIVING back and working for something, they left you high and dry. Which is why doing this, reaching out, trying all over again... it all means that THE HARD WORK is on you again. It's up to YOU to reach out again... only to be hurt and given the same answer all over again. Because when was the last time they gave a fuck? When was the last time their words of 'I care' meant something in the end? As far as I can tell, from this stand point, each and every one of them are just somebody that you used to know. 

And her? 

SHE made her bed. She chose her side for the sake of civility and to keep things quiet and not because it was right. So, yes, I know how you feel. But I'm not going to reach out to a dead end. I'm not going to work for people who won't reciprocate anymore. 

What of the dream? They're not going to stop, you know.

Keep them. Each dream is a bullet. Next life time, use them to reach out with precision.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Masterless: The Killing Joke

I finally hit the wall and when I crashed, the wreckage of my vehicle told me a joke. 

It showed me all the times I've played the fool's part. It gave me a punchline of just how mocked I was and how much I allowed it all to happen. It conveyed to me every single angle of my asinine way of thinking. 

What defined that sense of ideal? That honor? That need to make things right and to hold things together? Why was it so important to me that I kept ignoring the killing joke that was being told? 

I saw that wall, you know? I saw it coming a mile freaking away, but I didn't do anything to try and swerve out of the way. I guess I got used to being the one to make the move, the one to try, the one to always hold it all together... the person who was willing to reach out and try... all the time with everything and everyone. I guess there was a point that I didn't want to try and I just said... FUCK IT. 

The joke was on me and it really killed a part of me. And after I crawled out of that wreckage, battered, beaten, and thinking I'm a ghost... I realized that I'm still alive. When I came to the realization that if I go around these walls it would be the same people all over again... I laughed. I laughed so hard....

I haven't done this before..... and it's new. 

I gave up. Ha. I give up. Ha. And the funniest thing is... this feels right

Sunday, November 26, 2017

.:The Blackest Night:.

11/23 - 11/26 

I said last year was my last... but I was a guest. A much-needed arsenal in a chaotic few days where people lost their damn minds. When nonsensical but fruitful needs to spend money for the sake of tradition takes over....

Why? Why did I do it? 

For some reason, it's part of the 'fun'. To stay busy. To remember that most of what I am thankful for this year is my constant need to continue on despite everything and everyone. 

Well, here's to the 'brightest days', then. 

Sunday, November 19, 2017


I've made up my mind. From here on out, a lot of my fandom based posts will no longer be posted here. I am going to be setting up my new place somewhere else... my own 'domain', so to speak. Since a lot of my previous reviews on fandoms are in this blog, I will keep this up for that reason; I'll be linking a lot of things here so I guess I can't really get around to getting rid of this thing. That and I might use this seldomly for thoughts or what not.

I'm going to delete my commission-based blog that does nothing for me.

Anyways, I don't get much traffic nor do I get readers here. I didn't really make an effort to reach out to people with this blog anyways so in the end, this was just a dead end blog.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

DC Icons: Supergirl Rebirth

I might be on a DC figure roll here, but let me just say that I am not building a massive army of DC Icons... just Harleys. BUT here we have another DC Icons in the form of Supergirl. NOW, I don't want to digress with my reviews on toys that much, but something happened between this figure leaving the BBTS factory and receiving it on my doorstep. So here's a link about that experience. Trust me, it's worth the read. Anyways, on to the figure.

The package is indeed similar to the Burnside Batgirl I bought earlier this year. And they do share a lot of similar qualities, both good and bad as I'll mention in this review.

And I have no intention of getting the rest of the figures in this set.

I think throughout the years, DC has struggled with Supergirl's costume. It's a fine line with giving her a 'feminine' look, while at the same time keeping the "Superman" influence alive. Sure they could have gone the easy route and just give Supergirl the same tights and let her curves do the talking, but... they decided to be bold and give her a skirt. That poses a problem (not for me, but... ya know):

This version of Supergirl was (I believe) was during Jim Lee's run with Supergirl, my favorite version of the Maiden of Might. While she gained a fan following, the problem is the flouncy skirt was going to give too many panty shots! So? How to rectify that? They really didn't. But I digressed. The costume we have here just made the boots longer and made it less of a 'cheerleader' look. While I haven't read the comic books, from images I have seen, this is a pretty accurate sculpt of Kara from Rebirth. She does look a little older with the face we get, but the body is quite nice. The cape, while not articulated, is soft and pliable, and it does have some dynamic look. 

The colors are quite nice. Though it might look bland, and it certainly is, the idea of this figure is to try and replicate her look in the Rebirth series, which from all the artwork I have seen, that comic book is not mean to be as vibrant or as 'flashy' as the New 52 or the continuity before it. My only real complaint is her hair. I think of Kara as having blond hair that sticks out a little bit. To have it so flat colored is a bit underwhelming. Still, the paint job is clean so I'll take it for sure.

You'll have to forgive the funny angle her heads are in! Due to the hair position, I can't get a good shot on these faces (that's why I do an upclose photo). She comes with alternate hands as well. Not a lot of accessories, but good enough. She also comes with this:

It's a transparent stand that does its job well enough. It has an angle and it can offer some levitating poses. Not dynamic flying poses, but it can do some cool things.

This is the first version of her face. Again, she looks a bit too calm and not as 'young' as I picture Supergirl. I think they were going for the TV series and the Rebirth look.

Her second head is more or less the same except that it has attachable heat-ray visions. Cool things to have since it offers a few more poses.

Articulation is mediocre. High mediocre and definitely passable. I was able to get some pretty good shots on her, so I'm not bummed out at all with what I got. Some are really classic Supergirl poses too. The one thing going for her is the giving material of her skirt, cape, and her hair (to an extent).

One thing I didn't try as hard was getting her into a flight pose that is every bit familiar a Kryptonian would do. Again, the neck barely allows her to look up and that cape of hers hinders her arms pointing in the direction a flying pose needs. The eyebeams are awesome though, but they are limited in what they offer. Still, glad to have them.

A good new design that is a happy medium. Passable paint job. Good sculpting. Standard articulation hindered by costume. Decent accessories. After the New Batgirl, I expected something more from this figure. But then again, that was a deluxe figure with a bike, this is the standard. For any Supergirl fan, this is probably a good grab. For casual fans, this is an easy pass. Still, this is the only Rebirth Supergirl figure I have seen so this might be a must unless we start seeing some more. I mostly consider this figure as a highly articualted statue.