….. Masterless and Rage ….

Lumpy richness

There will be pleasure and pain, triumphs and regrets. Embrace it all as it comes, make the best of it, and move steadily forward.

Disappointments will come, and then new opportunities will soon appear. Each day, each season will have its share of ups and downs, beginnings and endings.

Life is wonderfully rich, and yet that richness is not creamy and smooth like a chocolate milkshake. Life’s richness is highly lumpy and inconsistent, and that’s what makes it so magnificent.

You’re much more able to fully treasure the good times when you’ve been through difficulties. The victories taste so much sweeter after a string of defeats.

Just remember as you go along that it’s all part of the richness. Just as night gives value to day which in turn gives value to night, all life’s experiences mesh together in a truly sumptuous adventure.

On this day, in this moment, it is all yours to take in. Whatever may come, treasure the richness in all its lumpiness, now and always.

— Ralph Marston

Read more at http://greatday.com/#C2XdHuslYzhVRQoq.99


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"Sometimes, it takes a glorious sight beyond sight to aid one to truly attain the pinnacle of epiphanies, Testament of Rage."

"I've never had a collected mind…"

"No."

"I… I've never been a level headed person…"

"No."

"I've… never been quite so jovial in the face of pain."

"No. But what you can and always will be is someone who CARES. The one who is the bottle of emotions that can be as good of a pillar of hope rather than be the dark cloud that poisons everything when rage becomes the only thing you see."

"It hurts…."

"I never once tried to say it doesn't. Nor has anyone else."

"Then… Then why… why aren't they fighting…. the way I am?"

"It's because the bridges to that battle is over… You are fighting a battle that is already done."

"But the riddle…"

"The Riddle isn't as complex as you make it seem. It's difficult, but the answer is simple."

"That's…. an oxymoron."

"So are you."

Silence. For the first time within the confines of these perpetuated battle, there is silence. Then the sound of sobbing… and then tears.

"The road to forgiveness isn't easy. What is 'now' compared to what 'was' will always be… and perhaps no one will TRULY understand all of that pain because they aren't you and they won't go the lengths that you will go… but isn't that the definitive of the Main Character?"

She falls on her knees and continues to cry. I ease myself close to her as I find myself on a crouching position where she immediately takes me as a means of solace by throwing herself on my lap; her tears streaming down her face as her long black hair hides her distraught face within the confines of its length. As gently as I can, I start to brush my hands through the smoothness off her hair.

"The pieces of the riddle have always been in your grasp. Filled with pain and the encumbering weight of what was lost, you weren't able to piece them together as eloquently. The unfortunate reality is that despite the fact that perhaps you were the only one to truly claim victory in your eyes, the fragments of this answer will take more than your hands to make it one cohesive piece."

"… W-what… how…?" 

"It's through them. The true meaning of this endeavor may be your story but it's through them that your story can really TRULY be. It is the true meaning of what you are searching for. Past the vengeance… past the pain… past the rage turned regret…. there is Hope."

"I've… I'm… so deep… into… anger…. rage…. destroyed… so much…."

I slightly smile.

"The road less taken isn't only yours to take. Everyone has to do it too. But be the light again. Bear that sign of hope. Be the one that cares too much again and never stop being that. Be the one that gets it right finally and show them that despite their debacles and their mishaps, you will be the one to truly define the bonds that you all share."

I'm not sure if words could truly do it. I'm not even sure if things can truly be the meaning of it. As she keeps her head rested on my lap, my hands continue to stroke her long black hair. Her sobs still reverberating within the confines of this room.

"…I… I don't…. know… if I can do it… I don't know… If I can be… malleable for … this world."

"That question is a haunting rhythm it would seem. Well, let me put it this way. Be the one that gets it right again because all of them did it so wrong."

"…………."

Her dull grey eyes are upon me the moment she lifted her head. I give her a smile; a stern yet comforting smile. There's the light in those dull greys again. 

"The Avatar"

It was about a month ago that I found out about a certain ordeal. I have coined the vehement feeling of 'doubt' as that ominous "Shadow". What I thought and felt was the biggest and the most painful thing I have to go through in "FL" is actually there; the whole entire time; sparse according to words that I am more than inclined to believe through trust and logic, but regardless of the fact, it *was* there.

Confrontation led to many forks in the road; the more obvious one, the one that is more than often insinuated is perhaps it is just that, we 'leave this shit behind' because it *is* what one must because it more ways than one it distorted a whole hell of a lot of trust, faith, and perhaps tainted something that I have seen as close to being infallible than most. But if I did say 'screw it' would it have been beneficial for anyone?

And yet here we are now. The fruit of labor is yet to be defined and what if I never found that road? What if I never did bother to confront the shadow? Was it worth it? Is the catalyst of the silence, the means to an end I have been searching for?

I've come to the conclusion that I care too much at times. Any 'logical' person would've stood by the face value and said 'screw it'. The logical person would've seen it in the eye, extracted all of the truths and perhaps further perpetuate that fallacies and deception are within every neck of the woods. Lost of sentiments, disappearances, and silence are indeed the most potent signs that it is just that, another tainted idea of 'friendship'. 

But logic has submerged itself within me; I am and will always be defined by the bonds that are intertwined. I may be the fool in some other end; I may be fighting a battle that is already lost, but in the end ... I'm here to let you know that It is fucking special to me; no one can assume otherwise. 

I'll be here. For as long as it is allowed of me. I refuse to believe that a second rated avatar is the destruction of a collected mind. 

Hope?

Just when I was ready to just give up, this happens. I'm not sure if I should feel solace in these almost to coincidental words of the stars, but truth to be told, I need something that is better than how I think and feel about things. So perhaps.

So to that then. To a better tomorrow and to the HOPE that this indeed a change; the time of catharsis and such.

For this Day.

Hope burns bright. Because we all endured, because we all listened, because we all tried, and because in the end we are all pure of hearts... We made it. Rage isn't prominent this year. So now as we extrapolate our notion to the future... We have these reminders to signify where we came from.

One Year Ago...

For the Hope ...

And there are days that might not be the best testament of nirvana. Sometimes there are nights when things are go awry that we are ostracized from the concept of a good day... stripped of the feeling of a good night.

I can only HOPE that the best way about this is through the support that we have; through the network that we have called our group of solace.

Though we know that there are times that won't be the pinnacle of the remedy, but we can all concur that it is a source to help add on to perhaps a Better Tomorrow. For ALL of us.

So here's to Hoping.