Masterless and Rage

How hard would you have fought to keep something that you thought was worthy, even if it hurts every time you walk towards it? 

Is that a rhetorical question? You know how hard I fought. I faced her in her worse. I called to her. Screamed at her. Yelled to the top of my lungs so that she may reach me and I took in every aspersion and painful strike to our sentiment. I took it all. I bled.... but I fought. I kept on fighting. I wanted her to stay and as damaged as we are, we would repair. We would try despite the obstacles and all the things that are going against us.

It wasn't rhetorical. I wanted you to vocalize it. I wanted you to paint this wall with truth. Define it. I wanted everyone and anyone to know what it is to truly fight for something that you hold dear. 

You say that there are some things that cannot be healed. You say that the wound inflicted is deep and haunting. You say that parts of you truly did not see the value. How does one fight when flooded by those? 

You fight. You just keep on fighting. You pick up what is left and you fight. But first one has to acknowledge his fault. One has to drop one's pride and admit the wrong doings and the mishaps. It's not about begging. It's not about any of that. It's about dropping one's damn flawed pride and just fight against the hurdles and then stop fighting. Stop challenging. STOP PRETENDING that one's knowledge is substantial.... stop mocking what is truly definitive with one's self proclaimed omniscience. And definiltey do not come swinging at a foundation that would always mean more than one's self. There are no riddles in this. There are NONE. There is no grey. There is ONLY black and white. You see, at the end of it all, it's as simple as it is painful but if one TRULY holds something important.... if one TRULY holds the sentiment as potent as one has claimed it to be.... then one will just step on the ground and see what is and what truly isn't. 

You speak as if there is a chance. That you are still willing.

I speak that some frozen hearts can be thawed. I'm saying that in this fiction that we live... there is always room for grace. Sure, it takes you and I to define the path again, but it's not up to us to seek that path. 

And at one point, the path will close, am I right? 

Yes. But Hate can diminish. Wounds can heal. Sentiments can be regrown. I will only believe in the spoken tears and regret if there is a step for redemption. Otherwise it will always be a reminder of another wasted time. 

Would you fight under these circumstances? 

I have lived under these circumstances. Sometimes, it's against myself. So yes I would if I deem the end worthy enough. 

Strange. I have known this part better and I'm a bit afraid that one will just cower in the corner, learning a new face of regret. I know first hand that in this fiction that we live, no one has fought as hard as me. No one held the grounds like me. I am the definition of this... and I'm afraid only I will fight to keep the meaning alive even if it's just a table for two. 

I don't have high hopes. I think it will be pride or cowardice that will refuse the path set out. But we will see. At the end of the day..... What is truly worth when 'enduring' became just a fancy title and truly not an act of one's character?