Masterless and Rage

Here you stand seething with Guilt. That episode huh?

You're usually the one scrutinizing that damn show! So why is it that we are both doing that now?! 

So… you're here to tell me that you're full of rage and regret again; why?

What if? What if I was able to put the dagger down in front of her eyes the moment of revelation? What if I was able to show her that I could've forgiven her right then despite how hard it was?! What if I could've shown her the strength that has serenaded you for so long?! What if my rage never was ME and …. and maybe it would've been better?! Maybe things could've gotten faster! Maybe… what if!

There is a lot of uncertainty in that. Maybe yes, maybe no. But that's the past. It's done and it's part of us… ALL of US now. So do you still have the same thought of undoing the undoable then if I ask you now?

Yes.

Why?

I could've spared all of us the pain and the debacles… I could've …. not hurt more people. 

That's the main source of your rage and regret now?

Yes.

That's going backwards but this time you are taking that dagger and pointing it at you. There is no honor in that, especially when you gave your word you know.

Well moving forward is not my forte….. It is What it Is. I understand that now… but… what do I do?

Let it go.

…..What?

Let it go. Let it go….

Are you freaking singing to me?

Makes sense, doesn't it? Listen.

……… You're an idiot.