You give in to the part of you that is still alive, and this is what you get. The other side is laughing, living the life that was never going to be who you are. Smirking. Fraternizing. Rebuilding something that was already made possible during the times of your fall. I told you. I always told you.
Had to try something different, you know. Had to make it be known. To at least shed some of this armor that I put up and see a glimpse of what is inside of me.
So and then what? You get rewarded with a shrug of a shoulder? I already told you. What is wanted is something that you don't have. What is not wanted is something that lurks inside of you that s/he doesn't believe in anymore... then again, how can it be believed? You were using.
So were you.
As I said, why even bother when you know the battle is going to be one sided now. It's going to be on your shoulders to uplift the world again. Something that you have done the whole entire time.
I carried it all once, remember? I'm sure I can do it again.
You are weakened. And we are going against everything else when before you were only going against your own rage. You can't fight this battle. No one will fight with you. You want to be the center of amusement? You want to hear and see silence? You want to be governed by trying to redeem when redemption should be on both sides? As you already saw, one doesn't believe that those times were also at his disposal. That he would give all these sentiments but in the end would fight you just for a simple step. What do you want out of this? Why do you want this? You are already shunned and considered 'unimportant'. Replaced. Expended. And not allowed to reclaim your throne because yours was demolished and replaced by the happy go jolly optimism. You don't leave your guards unlocked at night and for that you are no longer worth the fight. That is what they are thinking. That is what he is thinking. Because he saw the side of your most cruel and destructive side, because you are not the perfect optimistic friend, this is your fate. Do you SERIOUSLY want this?
I don't know a lot of things. I seriously don't. But I know that I can't leave it all behind the way it is without knowing I tried my best. I told them the end was coming, and it came. This is the aftermath of that. So here is the next part: what happens when it all comes down? Who will be there to stand up to the new when the fight for the greater good is not over?
How amusing. What if the others are now amongst their own sense of catharsis? What if the battle you fought are just mere memories for everyone else? What if you are the only one fighting a fight? One found a new. One is often taken away by the claims of life. Then of course her, she has her own priority now with the coming of a new and all.... Face it, this battle, this fight, this is your own now. You keep reaching out when the one you are trying to reach out for is already over it and has moved on, enjoying the feeling of a perfect world; the one which yours could never give just yet because yours... your group required and STILL requires a lot of work. You're trying at something that will fall because you are just a fragment of the past. Who and what you are, what we are, is no longer adequate or wanted. We aren't perfect. We have fallen from grace long ago. We are tainted by the vile things that life has thrown at us. For that, we are not like him. For that, we are not going to be able to be what you think you can make it to be.
Can we at least try? Can there be something wrong with me giving it an effort when I haven't done so before? I was too busy building something with my other.... with my definition. Isn't it time to try?
That's not up to you now. As I said, what have you to give when one seems to have find his place. A place where you will never be: perfect, virtuous, and optimistic. You aren't special to him anymore, you know.
I'm still special to me and so many others.
Never said you weren't. But you are but a mere Fallen Angel going against gods' most favored people.
Then god will bleed.
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