Thursday, July 16, 2015

Masterless.

Lonely and unhappy you say?

You've allowed it to be, unknown to you that I've always been here. I've always been here willing to take on the problems that had seemed to fester and grow and now have taken form... and that form is You.

I didn't want it to be the way it seems to be going. I can fight, I always can. I never knew that the battle would be against you. So now it is, so you want to choose decimation, decay, and the end? You nonchalantly look at things and go on with your days unhindered, unapologetic, and feeling the bliss and catharsis?

You never allowed me to fight the battles. You always took it upon you and that part was my fault. But you have rapt yourself in the demise and changed and declared on your own that it was the better you. Loneliness and unhappiness you say? I have no doubt in my mind that you can and will move on when it's all said and done. I have no doubt in my mind that in the end I'll be the one as I always am, stuck in a cliche, stuck in the story I have lived. But this isn't about me. This isn't about you. This is about building her foundations.

I can learn to fight for you, but you've given me no reason to do so. I made a vow through the better and the worse and I was willing to trend through the worse and see where it goes as long as she would be the one to reap the benefits of the fight.

But no.

This has become your fight for your life. For who you are. You have ripped apart Eternity just to embrace the cold and malice embrace of tragic ending.

For a moment I will envy you. For a few moments I will grieve. Betrayals, being left behind, broken promises... those I know. Those I have felt. But it's not everyday one gets to feel the sacred vows be ripped apart because of the sake of avarice. In those few moments I will wallow in the destruction, I will learn the ultimate lesson:

I am Masterless and I am rage. I am malleable for this world with or without you. I hope that you are happy with your decision, because it isn't us that will be ultimately damaged and scarred. It will be her.

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