I remember those days. At least, I think I do. I was but a fragment. A shadow. Barely there. I was there, but I was not defined. I had no bonds to define me. I was just as is. I was an avatar. A plot point. Something to keep things interesting in writing for you and her.
Yeah, that's what was going on. But she and I, despite everything, she and I was. She and I was a story. She and I was the dark and forbidden story behind a damn fucking fairy tale. But we were as we were. We smiled. We were. I don't think I can ever really say this but... in my pursuit of happiness, I corroded every step I took with her. But she kept me alive. She held on to me. She kept the part of me that is legit... the REAL me... she kept that beating heart. She kept that light in the dark lit. But...
But then it happened. My definition. My moment of fruition and creation. Despondently, she watched. She grieved. But I was happy. I was enthused. I was enamored. I was real and just not a fantasy. I had a role to play and my role was ever so defined.
But all that happened, things disintegrated. Walls were built and built... and at the end of the day, I became a shadow. I watched you as you became you and much more. I helped you. I'm still going to help you because, she is worth it. The thing that defines you is fallible, but so full of zest. She will be there for you; sparse, but there. She is as she is, complicated as ever, but so full of life and potential. But I have my own to rebuild. I have to rekindle what defining you and pledging to my asinine vow has destroyed. I have her. She and I were there before all of this. She was there when the dreams were tainted. She was there before the bonds were defined. She was there before a hero tried to endure. We have the past. We have memories. Sentiments. Tangible mementos and reminders. We have little secrets just between her and I. She and I... is the meaning of 'happiness outside ordinance'. We don't have months. WE don't have roles that we played. We had ... have each other. We are defined. We have a lot of time to make up, but we have the years not a few godamn months. We are as we are.... And now we will no longer be borrowing time. We will be making time for us.
I understand. I truly do. So what's the point? Why are you so agitated? Why are you the one exuding rage when you are the malleable one?
I don't need heroes to tell me what is right in place. I don't need premature opinions of miniscule fragments of what she and I had to tell me what I am to her. I don't need a hero to create another mishap that nearly cost you yours. I am me. I am the real me. I am not a role; I am the damn story. I am the damn play. Let it be known that if any one... any hero... if YOU and her TRY to get in the way of what I'm going to rebuild, I will destroy you. We are before your definition. We are before your efforts to keep things afloat. We are before heroes are born. We are before all of this. We were young together, and now we are here. Know that I will fight for this vehemently. I will dispose of ANYONE who gets in my FUCKING way. Because FUCK what is in a good place. This isn't a FUCKING disney fairy tale. I know what love is. I know what "a good place is". I'm not a FUCKING example or a situation. I AM a DEFINITION. Walk my life. Walk my nights. Walk the years she and I have and you can tell me what the FUCK is a good place. If you can sit here and try and be a hero, I will fucking strangle you with your own cape and cowl because you were fucking wrong before and it cost you. Don't let it cost you again.
...................
You know you're being blunt right? There are no metaphors ... or at least very few to decipher there. You speak eloquently.... and the message is pretty damn obvious.
I'm aware. That message is clear. And that message rings true. You want to know what rage is? I will fucking show you. Don't be a fucking hero in this. She means more to me than I have let known in the past. She is my Angel of the Night.
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