.:Masterless and Rage:.

There is an excessive amount of words in regards to time and what one would do if s/he is given that chance to change something in the past. Everyone who have said words in that notion have their own reasons great or small. Everyone sprouted out regrets because of failures and the idea that perhaps it would've been best if it's altered. Well, here I am being redundant like all those people. It's not really a viable want because it can never happened. Time moves forward and never backwards for anyone. It would be unfair if it did go back just for one person's desire, now wouldn't it?

But how fair is it now? It's really not. Paying for things I never did and the one good deed that should've been the catharsis became the poison. Basically, I shouldn't have made the choice to be the good samaritan in the whole damn thing because it keeps eating at me, reminding me of the 'piece of me that I keep chasing relentlessly'. 

But "It is What It Is", right? I'm just being dramatic by constantly delving into the past and what was. We just move forward because it's the right thing to do. You count on me to smile and do the things that was when nothing right now is worth it. 

So it is what it is, you're right. But I'm also not wrong in the idea that if I can take away that one moment of me being asinine about it, if I can pull myself out of that curiosity, if it all never happened then I can guarantee you now that I wouldn't be having these conversations inside of me. 

Life would be better, I promise you that. 

But it is what it is. We move forward and we are here. I know tragedy, I know despair, I even know what the hell destruction is from doing it to myself, and I moved forward from that. Because if I don't go on then what comes around will make its round and no one else seems to know how to deal with it, so here I am paying for everyone else's failures.

So yeah, I'm being redundant with the time thing, but a person can still wish for things, right? 

Or Maybe time has been illusive about the meaning for such debacles… Maybe in due time there is a clarification to why you have endured the things you did. Maybe the answers are even to your liking.

Maybe. But as of right now… The gamut of the pain is still mine to carry and I'm still paying for things I've never done. And the true remedy lies in the impossible of undoing what is already done. Saying "it is what it is" is a piss poor attempt of camouflaging the words:  "I can't do shit about it because I'm too much of a coward to face the stupidity of my (lack of)actions."

Not everyone is brave enough to keep facing the unbeatable past; but they sure are brave enough to see what the future holds. A sense of courage that you don't seem to posses, YET.