A Paradigm Shift.

There are times when I must astutely look at things and how they are. I am as I am. Like clockwork, I comply to the needs of my emotions. I play it out as I am and how I feel; rambunctiously and sometimes maliciously feeding off what the beating heart has told me and the action derives from the simple feel. There are times when that would suffice and other times when it would not.

I think I can say that this isn't my time to be in front. As much as I'd like to be the one that gets it right, I'm going to be the one that makes it all wrong this time.

It is because the "Best of Me" isn't on hand ... "she" is somewhere trying to cope with the chasm that has been created by the simple flick of a switch. Shattered thoughts have led to this ...

Will there be a time again? Perhaps.

As of right now ... this isn't my fight. Not right now. 

"Cross Roads"

To forgive. To forget. To move on and write the stories we are supposedly are destined to write. To absolve the pain of having sentiments and promises spat on ....

Or to live my LIFE. Without the hinderance of "this".

You were right, "Old Friend". You were always right.

If anything else, you ARE the Victorious Vixen. Your dreams aren't tainted, instead you are happy with your own.

I'm at that point of that cross road....

"Forgotten"

I knew you once. Often wondered about a lot of things that has transpired. The lack of and the enigma and then finally the common grounds. 

You know, in more ways than one, you are right. I don't know if it's being obstinate that keeps things going on my end, but I think in some ways it's stupidity. Now more than dreams are tainted ... also the 'hand behind this pen'.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

.:Systems.Compromised:.

Dealing with the aftermath and still remembering the wound. Here I am left to fathom of the possibilities. Fresh blood still dripping and I am grasping, or trying to... hanging on to every light of 'hope' in a broken world. The Pinnacle of what used to be is now just that...

I'm left to wonder again about perishable skill, my worthiness, how much weight of truth is in each words... encumbered by the feeling that being left behind like before... spat on and given aspersions... two in one. The lingering fabrication would've went on if I wasn't ... scrutinizing....

So there is time to deal with and there are redemptions to be made. I know of that. But silence ...

Who is in hiding now when I should've been the one? Instead here I am bridging the gap, aching for the sentiments and wondering if it is "ME" to be the one that mends it all together again....

I am depleted and out of sentiments. Or perhaps I am filled with a thought process that is still wincing at the pain of... But for now...


In some ways you were always right, old friend. Leaving it all behind to save yourself. Looking at the eyes that sees you as a goddess. They are comfort while the fictions I live are scornful; relentless in the application of pain when one gives it their all...

I miss you. I wish you were here to tell me that you are right and I am wrong.


System shut down. We are compromised and a catharsis is much needed.

"Words"

=)

My Aries Girl

Note: This art is amazing! However I wish I can give better credit!

I have fathomed more than once that you would be a Gemini. Someone once stated: "Two consciousness in one, you'll feel her surge!" Well, you did have a surge, but that was a rather different point of view, my Little Morning Star. You are now here with us as I have always dreamed. You are being held, cherished, nourished, and serenaded with infallible love! You struck us with an uncanny need to be early, my dear, and for that I love you far more than I can ever truly say! So now you are Aries and/or Taurus... Suffice to say, you fit a lot more Aries in my eyes than the other.

Then again, you are barely a week old. Let's see what nature and nurture can mold you into. Or perhaps we shall see just how malleable you are or just how stubborn you can be.

=)

"Unfair"

There isn't a whole lot for anyone to discern, The simple fact is that the sometimes, time rolls by in a biased rhythm. The one worth it stands derailed from something that has become so fervently part of me. It is how it is... The world that I know is silent; I am deaf and handicapped.

Time looms waiting for the embrace and everyone are oblivious but me. I could care less about the intricate web that weaved. I only hold on to hope...

And maybe even then.

The "Gemini" Armor

This movie is coming up fast! Real soon! And they have been going insane with all of the Hall of Armor releases as of late! Some are rather enamoring, while some are 'meh' and some are adhering to nostalgia for all of your comic book geeks(like myself!). But there is one that kind of stuck out to me that made me smile!

Mark 39: Sub Orbital Suit aka "Gemini". What?! Gemini?!

Yes sir! The Gemini indeed!!!! Now in regards to the color, it could've leaned on the red a bit more, but RED is his trademark shade so I suppose they needed to lean on something a bit different. I have to say, if they start releasing toys left and right, it will be a cash cow kind of deal, suffice to say!

So speaking of Gemini! So I am aware that this is from the Iron Man Hasbro line up called the 'concept series'. But They do rather concur with the notion of Gemini, don't they not? Anyways!

My Morning Star.

I have a lot of blessings in my life. She will be the one that will overshadow the rest of my 'collection'. She is not my toy, she is not an aesthetic 'thing'. She is my bearer of light. My Morning Star. I can't wait to see you. =)

But Honestly...

I'm going to keep the pen broken.

I've got better things to do that doesn't seem to have any sort of disdains or impediment. It was after all just that, a flavor of the week sort of innuendo.

Fuck it.

Moving on.

Standing So Close...

...Just a moment as I astutely read some of the writings on the confines of my own walls...

It was just a moment.

Perhaps the ink will spill for a while in the shade of ambivalence or perhaps in a way that would profoundly jest.

Was  I stern or was I merely just a fallacy?

I don't know. All I know is that the way I weave the words  I speak in the fiction I live is juggled by the mirror rhythm that reciprocates on the other side.

Masterless and Rage.

MASTERLESS -Destitute of a master or an owner; Ungoverned or Ungovernable.


RAGE -Violent or uncontrollable Anger.

"That's Me In The Corner..."

Sometimes the best thing to do is to just take a few steps back. Elicit a means of exoneration in a different shade of red. I am after all just a pigment of HIS imagination. Not to be true but fictional. Bound by definition... And scarred by frivolous but cathartic words...

I need to sleep right now. I need rest....

But I don't want to take a few moments off.... But Have to. Should.

Could I?

The Gemini

This 'was' the month that brought me to a world that is now I consider as an inextricable part of me. Suffice to say, with the new 'skill' I have learned through a simple application, I have decided to revamp one of the 'faces' of someone I know through a fiction I live in.

To many more years then.

Darkness and Light

"I Try My Best to Satisfy..."

Beyond the Bonds that I Define... pass the other who chooses to endure... Within the confines of what liminality and fantasy was able to give... you were there. You and I were 'that'. I know the days have shifted and I know sometimes it may have seen that I have forgotten, but in the most gracious times that I am allotted the sense of nostalgia, I do still cherish and I honor it with all my heart.

We were once bound by the confines of darkness and light; one is the light and the other is the dark, one and the other, one cannot really be without the other. I guess now with how life has passed us by, my friend, we are no longer that definition... not light in the dark... but together... the rapport of day and night.

Don't ever disdain. While we may have walked a path that was on borrowed time, at least now, you and me can say that our time is no longer trespassing. It is an ordinance. It is clockwork. A pattern, a habit, something I look forward to. My friend. 7=)

"Red And Blue"

"We All Have Secrets. The Ones that we Keep. And The Ones That Are Kept From Us."

Sometimes you meet more than just one. One who sees you through as well. One who wants to endure through the times of Rage and the Somber mood.

The One Who Endured....

The other one who keeps me coming back.

"Canon"

The Bonds That Defines Us...

It started a year ago and pervaded through some days and nights. It was never perfect in regards to the positive vibes. It was never an infallible rapport; it is and always will be just between two human beings, and humans are known for their errors. But suffice to say, regardless of what endeavor we would cross, we always know the good times, we always know that behind each typed word and every emoticon expressed, we are just that, two people who knows how to read, love, and learn. =)

I am forever grateful. And I don't think (as I have redundantly pointed out) I have enough words to describe just how special this is.

One year since our beginning. =) To many more years.

The Testament of Rage...

There are so many ways to reflect. I can discern that I am by far still a perpetual energy of rage when certain things don't exactly go 'my way'. I can't fathom if there will be a day that I can't remain as I am... I can't exactly say if the gamut of tragedy will perhaps break my inhibitions... or perhaps one day the bonds that define 'me' will no longer be mine to appraise...

What If...

(Unknown Artist, but this is bad ass. Good job!)

What if that storm ends and no one sees me as I was? What if in the end I am what I have always been a testament of rage lacking a collected mind? And what if I don't just untangle the bonds that define us but I cut through it with a vehement mentality of disdain?

Then I'll become just that....

Somebody that they used to know. Addicted to a certain kind of sadness. I don't even need a resignation for my end... it's done for me.

IF...

What if?  What if other side of the Gemini goes past the point of volatility and just becomes a testament of Rage. Perhaps I really do need to bow out for a bit? And clutch the 'pursuit of happiness' in another avenue, so to speak?

..:The Definitive:..

Collaboration. Tangled in the way the words are weaved. Intrepid. The proper etiquette of another fuels the fire of creation, no need for fear, just go; striding through the emptiness and letting it be decorated by the simple call of words. Elaboration. The single act of making sure one sees it through another's eyes, creation of a fantasy that is so real when eyes skims through every tapped word. Chasms. The actions of another are left to a solemn imagination, the gap is bridged through the other's perception and the adept on the other side of the pen.

Knots. Ink.

That is defined by the myriad of ways the other can see it and decides to react on it. An Art so lost that it is considered archaic. The definition of it is only through those who are adequate. Adept.

The Things We Write...

I won't lie and say that sometimes certain words, certain need to step down, and certain 'hibernation' from the art instills fear in me. An acrid feeling that perhaps that was it? The times of the adept are far behind us? That perhaps in the distance that maybe the road with this 'Pen' is ONLY mine to dance with. That this art is only for me to carry on; indulge on what others teach me, but in the end of it all it isn't a role I play but a fiction that I exfoliate...

Perhaps there are many ways the mind can tease me to think... perhaps it is asinine of me to think that the end is so there and that a premature and an unfinished is what will be the result of this.

Or maybe because I have lived my life in pendulums...

It can only be you, you know. Everyone else...

Wishing for the Best.