Sunday, November 8, 2015

Exhaustion



I'm tired.

I'm tired of having fought this for so long and in the end, it all falls apart. It's almost as if it never existed.

I'm tired of hanging on to moments, possibilities, meager hope.

I'm tired of hearing words that are broken the next day. I'm tired of apologies after promises are taken lightly. I'm tired of your words being so hollow... I'm tired of you not seeing just how much you mean  to me despite everything. I'm tired of you not seeing that every word that you break, every time you lead me on you keep destroying a foundation--- you keep making me believe that it's going to get better when you go back to the same circles of silence.

I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of clinging on.

I'm tired of people telling me they're fighting when all they're doing is sitting in the sidelines. I'm tired of you pretending you can help when all you are doing is just playing it safe, not doing a damn thing, thinking you're so much more than what you really are; given the tools and yet you've just kept it on your own.

I'm tired of these memories, these sentiments; tired of being the one that holds true to them... tired of being the one that really remembers the beginning.

I'm tired of wondering what that all meant; tired of thinking they have meaning when they are just complete fallacies.

I'm tired of knowing the this all in vain. This is just a space I scream vehemently at and on the proper eye won't even glance at this.

I'm tired. Tired of waking up.

Just one wish. Is that really so hard?

Just that wish.

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