Masterless and Rage: In Regards to it All

Bothered by it, aren't you? 

I reflect on things. I wonder about all the things that has been said. The strange thing about it is that her constant enigmatic self, the constant want for her to be here is understandable now. I get it . I comprehend that at times... there has to be some kind of tribulation despite it all. Sure one thing easy would be nice, but ... the other side... there was two choices, the wrong and the right one. How can one not feel 'sorry' for making the wrong one?

One thing to be easy and less of the same vibe from this year would be nice, I'll be one to really concur with that. I'll vote for that. I'm wishing for that every time I wake up. So what's your point in regards to it all?

I can fight for something even if there are distortions left and right. But words have taken its toll on me. The abrasive and the content of having chosen the "other wrong decision" as one has stated it... then without ANY sense of compassion or feelings of ... apologies. Harder to swallow things. Harder to make it a point to give more effort.

There has to be some kind of feeling of redemption. I know that. But weren't we planning on not giving that much effort anyways? To just let it be... let the days handle it? Unlike your fight with her, you planned on just walking on the days... sentiments few and far between? 

Yes, that was the plan. Just trying to... understand things. The aftermath of it all and the fact that I never got a feeling that there was some remorse for making the wrong decision... harder to really digest things and sometimes I wonder if we even believed in the same outcome for the fight.

To be perfectly honest with you... I don't think so. I think if one can withhold something so crucial and pivotal--breaking a promise is one thing. I mean, the dork has done that far too many times but you can FEEL how sorry she is. But the other.... 

Sometimes Heroes are the villains. Sometimes Heroes and their sense of 'burden' makes them the greater evil. At this point, evil is not relative. But we just move on from here on out , right?

We never claimed to be heroes and we know the mishaps of our ways. That's why she and you are almost the same; both flawed and imperfect story tellers. That's why you two are meant to be and sometimes that trait makes you incompatible. Karma is coming, this year or the next. We can only say that it's palpable that heroes will regurgitate some kind of regret for making the wrong decision in the face of the karma. Maybe one will gain the courage at last.