What If?

What if I told you I still remember?

Everything. And almost every small detail.

What if I told you that I still think about it? 

Every moment that I can. I still smile, laugh, and feel sorrow for the time we stole.

What if I told you that despite everything, nothing will ever fill that part of me?

That part of me that you selfishly moved in to? That part of me that despite how hard, I can't ever seem to find a closure for?

What if I told you that despite me letting me feel these things that it doesn't matter? 

As I told you, you'll move on. Just like everyone, they all leave without a closure, without looking back. Without remembering.

So why do I ask those two words when in the end, it's just a bout between reflections and ghosts?

It's because the truth remains that no mattter what, in the end, it was always me. The one that held on. The one that fought albeit a bit too late. The one that still cherishes and remembers.

Sadly, you became just one of them. Just another brick in the wall. Or perhaps, somebody that I used to know.

Or was it the other way round? 

A Moment Eternal

It's been a year since that moment.

I still think about you 

It still hurts to think about the fact that you're not 'here'.

I guess the moment became so long... 

I guess grieving never really ends

But how does it look from up there?

I hope it looks better and I hope you still remember

Life has changed so much, I know

But it has never really changed how much I still miss you

Keep purring and watch over her things for me

I know there are times I'm not my best

But I'm trying....

And I'm still trying to cope with how much I miss you.

Immortality? Or Friendship?

Immortality, power, and riches...

Or for Friendship?

Can you truly give up something absolute for a few clockwork faces? Is the idea of having everything truly worth throwing away for people who are reflections of people that come and go?

Power... immortality... that is forever. Friendship is fragile and false. They are merely recycled ideas, people that one will encounter time and time again.

So tell me, can you truly give up everything for fallacies? 

Emotions

I visited some old friends today that passed on. Both young and before their time. Both same amounts of years ago.

It's amazing how time stood still for them... they're forever young while we.. while I just sit here and follow as time takes on a wild ride that we call life.

I didn't really know them that much. I wasn't close to them at all but I did know them.  They were figures in some chapters of my story back then. I guess I wanted to ask how does it look on the other side...

In that moment, I witnessed an older gentleman sitting down next to someone special in his life who also passed on to the other side. He sat by the memorial, and some moments, he laughed as he spoke of memories... he was somber... but he was happy. But he there was also a hint of loneliness in his eyes as he walked away.

It was something.

Weird day, suffice to say. 

Masterless: "To good Friends"

Masterless: When I was young I once had a dream that I would have a group of friends; friends who would walk the journey of life with me. Friends who would fight along with me. Laugh with me. Make me better. Friends who are real. Friends who don't use you for their own self gain. Friends who don't berrate you, or shun you down so that they may feel like heroes. Friends who don't abandon you. Friends who never grow apart with time but only grow stronger. 

Friends who will play the role of life with you.

Friends who will live and die with you. 

And when the Epilogue comes and the next lifetime is ready to take you to far away times... those friends, their legacy, their meaning, and what they stood for will remain with you. From one lifetime, to the next. 

Yes I once believed in fairy tales. I once thought that these people exist. I once thought love exists. But... I know when the Epilogue comes, I will remember the friends I lost, the friends I fought, the friends who fought me, and the friends who left. The friends who looked down on you and smirked, the friends who continued to remind you of your villainy...

Friends who aren't friends. 

When I leave this world behind, I will remember being alone. I will be the dark cloud that shall challenge the fools and their fallacies. I will be the one that they cannot and will not defeat. 

I will be the Villain this world made me to be. 

I wish I had good friends... friends who would fight for me. Try for me. Friends who would remind me that I am still worth something despite the cold and cruel fate that I hold. Despite the knowledge and irrefutable fact that burdens me....

Friends who will be there to far away times and at the end of it. Maybe if they were there, the Epilogue wouldn't be so bad.