She may very well be my undoing, but she is also the reason why I even have the exuberance I have now. Before I was just a doll; an empty shell for ... cravings.
When will you stop fighting then?
When it is finally, truly over. How about you? Why won't you fight hard for her?
Because she may very well be the reason why so much of this year has been the way it is. Because off her insecurity and inability to communicate and help extinguish the fire, the foundation underneath crumbled and fell. It may very well be because of my reaction, yes, but if it wasn't for her mishap, her pride, and her sin, I can surmise that so much of this year could be better. That maybe this world would not have been poisoned.
I am not entirely sure about that. I've always had one who claims to fight for me; for the meaning of that one particular special rapport born out of cravings... this person... this asinine self appointed hero decided to try and take on the responsibility that is too great of power to handle. Because of the persistence, the idiotic thought of believing that there was help in the company, this person deterred a possible road that could very well be the sealing of why I exist.
Not all falls on this person. The one you fight for is also an idiot.
I won't try and refute that. However, the person I will try to fight for has something in her that I can't... seem to figure out. But that red flag in that small window of opportunity... missed because this person wanted to be a hero when clearly this person failed prior to me--and because of the ignorant thought that this person could do something, perhaps that window is closed for another day. It could be better, the fight could ave been prolonged in those days, that window... instead this person thought that they knew me so well; thought they were so special... and then... well, can't even admit their faults in the face of judgement.
People don't take kindly to blame, even if the fault is theirs. I'm dealing with that right now--when everything about this year could have been prevented, this person saturated it with a list of how she was the victim, shielded her sin behind my failures of the past, and had the audacity to look me in the eye and said I needed to change. If one's value is through sins, then what value was there to begin with?
Value is in the eye of the beholder.
Indeed. So will you miss the things you have lost so far?
I won't miss a lot of things. But I will miss the one thing that makes me feel complete.
What made me feel complete in the past, and always been false.... Conundrum we are in, aren't we?
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