How very funny she calls herself the 'forgotten' one in the fiction that we lived when she is far from forgotten. In fact to this day, she is still a symbol. She still is the insignia of how I see "these" kinds of rapport.
Why wouldn't you? She was an integral part of those early years. Can I be a bit trite and call it the 'wonder years'?
What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
And that's where the funny part of this is. She stood up and walked out on us. Like so many times these people after her do.
The funny thing is, we were there to just lend her our ears. Just one simple information was all she had to say; maybe we would not have let go. Maybe we would fought for her, but she walked away so abruptly. Caught us all off guard.
And she walked away with conviction. She believed in all her cold heart that it was the right choice. And perhaps for her case it was. She was dealing with something a bit more important... she had her own burden to raise. But she looks so happy now. She has green hair. Smiling. Not a damn thing in her dreams seems tainted. So happy.
I know. I knew that last I checked. As she signed: 'amidst your dreams'... and she is there. A fragment, but there. But the issue at hand. And what of this?
This? A crucial moment in time. Heroic antics, despite all the disparaging claims that it was not... at the end of the day, it was the wrong decision. Someone made the wrong choice and despite 'understanding', there will be consequences for it.
Is it the whole notion of "for what he has done, he will pay the ultimate price" kind of deal?
Yes. But the funny thing about this is that I'm not going to lift a finger nor speak. What comes around goes around and when it makes its round, one better hope that there is some change in one's opinion. To express no need for apology, for the blatant disregard and misconception, and asinine train of thought.... karma will be aggressive. Karma will come around more than once. And I will gladly step back, watch over and over again as punishment is served. Justice is served. I would gladly watch more than once because I KNOW I was right. Those crucial moments... heroism and hollow sense of justice wasn't necessary BRAVERY was the missing component. To set aside pride for just a moment, to be brave enough to make the right decision instead of fabricating a false ideals and boasting out loud 'I made the right decision'... Humility and comprehension. Those were the missing ingredients. We move on yes. We forgive and we rebuild because we ourselves fucked up. But we don't forget. We will own up to our mishaps and it will soften the blow for when karma takes its pay. But... someone will feel it far worse.
And us? What of the remains of the one who is -not- forgotten?
We didn't fight for her hard enough. We didn't TRY to understand back then that she was right for backing away for the sake of her own. She was right akin to this situation where we are right. We are paying back the dues. It's coming around and we are hit hard every time that we can barely get up. This is our karma. This is our ultimate price we have to pay.
How do you think she is now? What would happen when there is a moment when we can actually given the chance to talk? What would you say? What would I say?
She is not like anyone, but she isn't as special as a certain someone. I wouldn't know what to say. She'd be a stranger. She made a choice to be a stranger. Choices people make are what defines them. It carves out an image of her that we will never forget.
How do you see her?
Brave. The one who was right. She is ... far more adequate than the ones we deal with now.
But she doesn't make your heart skip than that fumbling idiot you hold on to so dear.
And who is the one holding on to a fumbling idiot again?
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